|"Back in my day..."|
It cost like seventy bucks to fill up. That's not some big SUV either. It's a little car. Seventy dollars! Seventy dollars isn't a gas fill up for a little car...it's some small monthly bill, like cable, or the water bill (if you left the spigot on outside for a night and forgot about it) or something, but not a lousy tank of gas.
|NO! Not that kind of five bucks...the other kind!|
I need to tell you something, but it's sort of embarrassing, so let's just keep this between us. Last week I had to drive to the city to do some work. I didn't have any cash on me except for five bucks (dollars), but I wasn't worried about it because I was picking up a payroll check that afternoon, and then I'd be basking in wealth and unimaginable riches for about five minutes, or as long as it took me to get to the bank and then the nearest gas station, and put half my check into my empty tank...
So, I get to the city and low and behold, my gas light comes on (ding). Which ironically enough, never comes on when the tank is full, as if to congratulate me, but only when the damned thing is empty (and therefore should be called a no gas light). Anyhow, I pull into a station, proudly unfold the wrinkled up five in my pocket, and pumped gas for about a second and a half...and ran over by eight cents because who in the hell can stop it evenly on a rounded dollar when gas is fifty bucks a God damned gallon?!?!
And this is the best part: I put the five in, dig beneath the front seat for spare change to cover the overage, skulk into the gas station and wait in line, give the clerk my five dollars, and return to my car. I start the engine...and the God damned gas light is still on! For those of you not paying attention...the light just came on...I put in five bucks...and the light was still on! Here comes the old man rant...
And, as it turns out, no matter who the president is, this guy is still wearing a big, shit eating grin on his face...
And him and his buddies are getting richer and richer, while my five bucks (not the deer kind) is worth less and less every day, and now they're telling me there is going to be a hamburger shortage! A hamburger shortage! The guy on the news said that a beef shortage is coming, and higher beef prices are on the way.
Now, I have tried to avoid being political on this blog. But they have taken away the beer money portion of my allowance through their higher gas prices. I'll be damned if they are taking my red meat. If beef prices go the way of gas, then by God, fat men like me throughout this great nation will come together and rise up!
...Okay, screw it. I'm starting another novel. Wake me up when the revolution gets here, will you?
Thanks for Reading,