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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Query Revision Every Literary Agent Will Love!

Dear Agent,

Thank you for your recent rejection of my novel. Based on your recent selections, I’ve made some alterations to my story query letter. By avoiding the tiresome theme of actually writing quality literary fiction, I’ve updated it to better hold your interest (also, I've included a picture of some sparkly things at the end!). I think you will find this revised version far more interesting and marketable! 

The only thing worse than taking screaming kids on a road trip is being saddled with a cantankerous octogenarian angry vampire. On his journey, Walter Mitchell will leave in his wake, an ecstatic Iowa nurse, an agitated Tennessee restaurant owner, a chafing Georgia state trooper, and an affronted Florida gas station attendant love struck teenager with a vampire bitten neck.
When four nursing home residents vampires are drawn together, it is only due to the inescapable bond of being the only lucid males at the Meadow Brook Assisted Care Home. One of them, Walter, is loud, obnoxious, rude, and following multiple strokes, downright mean at times a vampire. Under normal circumstances, it’s all the other three residents vampires can do to share a table with him. When a dying mobster zombie shows up and regales the unlikely quartet with a tale of buried cash something magical in Havana, Walter is obsessed by it. 

Walter is convinced the mob werewolf clan is going to kill him for stealing pocket money  something magical from their dying boss if he doesn’t get away from Meadow Brook soon. Even that doesn’t stop him from giving the stolen cash (their traveling money) magical fairy beans away to a young nurse hobbit he is hoping to woo become platonic friends with. Now, Walter must try and make it all the way to Cuba, the magical fairy land, and find the buried treasure, before his unwitting vampire partners discover he’s broke. The mob werewolves didn’t kill him, but that doesn’t mean his already reluctant traveling companions won’t leave him for dead undead. Walter will have to use everything within his manipulative arsenal batman belt to ensure the pensioners vampires make the journey, and get the loot…together. 

LOSING MEADOW BROOK, an 115,000 word humorous adult fiction Young Adult Fiction, follows this improbable foursome of runaway geriatrics vampires on the most disagreeable road trip of their lives. 


  1. Hi Buzz;)

    I like your story; not sure about the lines, u drew in the middle of some of them, why didn't you completely delete them instead of leave them there.
    I wanted to find out also if, you could help me learn how to do self publishing? Is it all through blogs? How do you publish your own books? I am very interested in becoming a self published author; I remember meeting you one time in Chariton, at an event, at the coffee shop. You sold your books there. Hope to hear back from you soon. Debbie Villines

  2. Dear Deb,

    Please drop me a line at buzzdmalone@gmail.com and I will be happy to help you on the road to self-publishing.

  3. Very ticklish, Buzz:) Not enough sparkly things at the end though in my opinion. Maybe some awesome twinkly stars and glowing emoticions as well??